batman girl

Writer's Block: You're a shining star

If you could be a guest on any talk show, which would you choose and what would you talk about?

The Daily Show, most likely.  That counts, right?  The Colbert Report and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson would also be a lot of fun.

As for what subject...er, maybe some of my amusing anecdotes about getting a chocolate manicure, or my dad getting into a fight with an ostrich.
girl washing machine stripey rainbow

My favorite new euphemisms

Will you stop

basting the ocelot?!


I feel like

snuggling the spindle.


Shut the door! I'm

soiling the hedgehog!


Returning after her mysterious disappearance, she sheepishly admitted she had been

flogging the batmobile.


Needless to say, I promptly began

cleaning the predator.


Well, I know what I'll be doing this weekend.

yodeling in the Appalachian ham sandwich maker!


I couldn't believe my luck as she started

playing spin the Spanish woodchuck.


The governor's staff refused to confirm or deny he had been

correcting the stubborn technicolor longshoreman.


He spent every lunch hour at home,

widening the buttery fishbowl.


Hey! Who's been

waxing the Welsh ferret?!


You can't expect me to believe you were only

boarding the squid.


Unbeknownst to me, they were all

punching the badger.


I couldn't believe my best friend was actually

doing the blazing Spanish wombat.


Let's just say I had a lot to learn about

shampooing the hungry chipmunk.


This is not an appropriate place for

yodeling in the raisin.


Returning after her mysterious disappearance, she sheepishly admitted she had been

flossing the one-eyed wombat.


She seemed like a shy girl when they met, but a few drinks later, they were

ruining the gigantic Appalachian furniture.


Instead, she spent the night alone,

flustering the purple kitten.


Every morning, he woke up

denting the Welsh prisoner.


Instead, she spent the night alone,

training the brontosaurus.




Courtesy of
http://walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism
batman girl

Dragon Age Survey

I saw this on honorableshadow 's lj while looking for Dragon Age icons, and felt like filling it out.


1. Your favourite character:

Alistair.  The funniest character in a game chock-full of them, and all sweet and cuddly and...  Yeah, I'm pretty fond of him.  (Damn you, David Gaider.)  I like most of the characters, though, as I'm a big fan of snark and woobieness.  Zevran, Oghren, and Morrigan are a lot of fun, too though half the reason I like Morrigan is that I lust after her hair-style.


2. Your least favorite character:

Isolde, Marjolaine, Branka...  God, Marjolaine's ridiculous accent makes my ears hurt.  I mean, yes, she was mean to poor Leliana and I don't like that but Jesus Christ could you have a more painful and impenetrable accent, woman?  Arl Howe is an unrepenting bastard who slaughtered my (human) family, and I still can't hate him because he's voiced by Tim Curry, thus taking an awful character and making him more likable.  Whoever voiced Marjolaine took an awful character and made her even worse.


3. Character you’d date:

Alistair would be top of my list for previously mentioned funny adorableness.  I cannot tell you how much I wish we had an option to hug him like you do Tali in Mass Effect.  And/or to slap his sister.  Zevran, Anders, and pre-crazy-ening Cullen are also appealing to me, though not as much so. 


4. Character you’d like to go shopping with:

Leliana and Shale.  Tell me that wouldn't be the best mall-crawl ever.

Shale: Surely the color is unimportant.
Leliana
: In fact, the color is very important. That, and picking a shape that makes your ankles look slender... and you could use some help there, I fear.
Shale
: I... have thick ankles?



5. Character you’d like as your child:

Er...given my age, I'm having a weird time trying to imagine almost any character as my kid.  I can tell you who I'd definitely not want, though: that little girl in the Shale DLC.  Trying to solve a puzzle with her prattling in my ear was a nightmare.


6. Character who would probably be your rival:

Hmm.  I could maybe see a bit of rivalry with Morrigan, in a sort of sisterly, Vitriolic Best Buds sort of way.  After all, I agree with her on almost nothing, but I love her snarkiness.  If you want more of a traditional, "jeez, I hate that guy" sort of rivalry, then Velanna.  God, she's annoying and prejudiced.  I'm not usually too fond of Dalish anyway (even when I played as an elf they were cranky with me on principle - way to win people over, guys), but then she started in on city elves...

Oh, and Trian Aeducan.  Totally bought into that rivalry.  I didn't kill him, but I reeeally disliked him and wanted him out of the way so I could be queen.  Then he dies, and upon seeing his spectre in the Temple of the Urn?  Lip Quiver City.


7. Character you have most in common with:

Eh, probably Alistair.  I'm much crankier and more stubborn than he is, but we have very similar senses of humor, usually agree what course of action to take, both enjoy cheese and cats...  I also get on like houses, and have some temperament similarities, with Sigrun.  (Plus she has my absolute favorite specialization.)


8. Character you look like the most:

I'd say probably Lenka, the Silent Sister you face in the Provings during the Dwarf Commoner origin.  Obscure, I know.  For someone less obscure, on a reeeally good day, maybe a tiny bit like Isabela (DA:O Isabela, not the DA2 look).  Maybe.


30. Character you’d want to cosplay as:

Well, I'd like to cosplay as Morrigan THE HAIRRR, but I really couldn't pull it off.  I'm tempted to suggest something silly, like Shale or the archdemon.  Maybe just some nameless rogue?
morrigan pretty swirliness

Writer's Block: Whatever gets you thru the night

What is your favorite John Lennon song, and why?


If Beatles songs count, then "Revolution". 

We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be alright?


Sometimes it can be...frustrating...being very politically active and idealistic and finding your causes hindered and/or discounted because of the other people who believe the same as you, but go to unacceptable or frankly idiotic lengths.  It feels like the whole world is against you, rather than just the opposing side. 

For example: I try to avoid fur and leather, I treat my (rescued, neutered) cat well, I avoid cosmetics tested on animals, I frequently enjoy vegetable alternatives, I hate the inhumane ways a lot of corporations treat and kill animals, and I give to animal charities - but I hate PETA.  I dislike their stance on no-kill shelters and the sheer number of healthy animals they kill (even lying that they'll find the animals homes), eye-roll at their stance that having pets is bad and we shouldn't have seeing-eye dogs, find their flashy stunts (paint throwing, pie-throwing, and tons upon tons of nude women) annoying or exasperating, hate the way they target children (like this, or the many booklets my best friend was incensed by before growing up and realizing for herself PETA is rather...extreme for her tastes), feel their overblown comparisons of eating meat as to being serial killers are both ridiculous and insensitive to the victims' families, disagree with the violent methods they condone in other groups...

And, for fuck's sake, sea kittensReally?

To the original point, I really like Lennon's stance in "Revolution", regarding extremism - I think Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity is of one mind on that, too, actually.  I also admire the courage it took to release such a song at that time, even if Lennon wavered in his feelings ("out, in").  It wasn't an easy decision, making a statement against violence which could easily - dangerously - backfire upon him and those around him.

Plus, you know...bitchin' guitar riffs.

liara white and blue mass effect 2

Mass Effect: Retaliation, Part Two

TITLE: Mass Effect: Retaliation
RATING: M
FANDOM: Mass Effect
CHARACTERS: Shepard, Garrus, Jack, Zaeed, Aria, many cameos
PAIRINGS: fem!Shepard/Garrus (mentioned: femShep/Kaidan)
WORD COUNT: 10,867 (both parts total)
WARNINGS: Violence, torture, adult language, truly reprehensible innuendo. Spoilers for Mass Effect 2 and Lair of the Shadow Broker.
NOTES: Written in a time crunch, because I’m an idiot. LJ formatting fail likely. Uses a (mostly) Paragon Sentinel Shepard. Written for girlsavesboyfic 2010.
SUMMARY: It turns out Garrus had a lot more loose ends than even he had realized.


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liara white and blue mass effect 2

Mass Effect: Retaliation, Part One

TITLE: Mass Effect: Retaliation
RATING: M
FANDOM: Mass Effect
CHARACTERS: Shepard, Garrus, Jack, Zaeed, Aria, many cameos
PAIRINGS: fem!Shepard/Garrus (mentioned: femShep/Kaidan)
WORD COUNT: 10,867 (both parts total)
WARNINGS: Violence, torture, adult language, truly reprehensible innuendo. Spoilers for Mass Effect 2 and Lair of the Shadow Broker.
NOTES: Written in a time crunch, because I’m an idiot. LJ formatting fail likely. Uses a (mostly) Paragon Sentinel Shepard. Written for girlsavesboyfic 2010.
SUMMARY: It turns out Garrus had a lot more loose ends than even he had realized.


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girl washing machine stripey rainbow

Fic: Shepard's Dossier [Mass Effect, PG]

Title: Shepard's Dossier
Fandom: Mass Effect
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for Mass Effect 2, implied spoilers for Lair of the Shadow Broker (concept).  Some dark subject matter (nothing not already in the game).
Summary: Shepard's allies aren't the only ones with deeply personal messages and information collected on them.  No one, especially not the Hero of the Citadel, can avoid the prying eyes of the Shadow Broker's agents.  Contained within is Shepard's dossier.
Notes: Based off my Shepard.


Commander Shepard.  First human Spectre, hero of the Citadel.  Gifted tech and biotic.  Had considerable potential as an agent, but refused to cooperate.  She’s too loyal to the Alliance to openly work for us, but perhaps she can be manipulated.

 
Extranet Activity 1
Personal Correspondence 1
Intercepted Alliance Communication
Personal Correspondence 2
Extranet Activity 2
Personal Correspondence 3
Surveillance Transcript
 

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